


the spaces in between

by kythen



Series: many names for home [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, M/M, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, a recovery fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 01:39:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13043850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kythen/pseuds/kythen
Summary: You are surrounded by a vast expanse of stars, all alike. You are dying in deep space.A homecoming.Sequel to"another name for 'home'".





	the spaces in between

**Author's Note:**

> Fic commission for Sel!
> 
> The story behind this fic goes: Sel commissioned me for a continuation for "another name for 'home'" and I had ideas for both a prequel and a sequel for that particular fic so I told her to pick the one she wanted. She picked the sequel and here we have it, a year after the first "home" fic was written and posted, the sequel to "another name for 'home'".
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reached out to me and commented on "another name for 'home'" here or on twitter or tumblr. I was slightly hesitant about writing a sequel because of the emotional impact the first fic left on most readers and I was afraid of ruining that for some. But I do want to continue what I started in the first fic, to tug at those loose ends and make something out of it. Sel gave me a huge push with this commission and her heartwrenching art for the first fic (I'm still crying over it ok) and it resulted in this sequel, which is almost three times longer than the first fic and, well, I won't say anything else about it now. I just want to say how grateful I am to Sel and to all the other readers for your love and I hope you enjoy this sequel.

The stars are watching him as he drifts through the endless night of open space with nothing but a narrow safety line stretched out between him and his spacecraft, tethering him to a point of return. It is silent in space, something Daichi has always known but had taken years and years away from home to realise.

With Karasuno, there was no such thing as silence with fourteen crew members around and more than half of them talking at full volume at any given time so that they could be heard over the cacophony.

With Kuroo, silence was never just silence but so much more, full of words that hadn't needed to be spoken aloud. Daichi had just known as clear as day what Kuroo had meant with every smirk and smile, every touch of his hand and brush of his lips, and that was enough when all they have ever had was a few precious snatches of time to themselves whenever they could find it.

Without Kuroo, silence is just silence.

Daichi propels himself forward, his hands tight on his jet pack controls and his eyes fixed on an unusual piece of debris floating before him. Frost coats its surface, shaping it into something cold and alien, but Daichi recognises what it is and what it could possibly contain.

This piece of debris is manmade, an oblong pod of hard metal and glass, built to allow its passenger to survive an escape into space, alone and adrift until help came along. But the pods on this ship had been cut off from any help the moment they entered deep space and were designed to encase its passenger for an indefinite amount of time, preserving a body until retrieval.

There is a narrow glass window in the pod, dark with frost and age. Up close, Daichi sees the glow of machinery within it, a sign that the pod is occupied and still active. He wipes a hand across the glass and peers in, his heart swelling in his chest.

There is a face behind that glass, his eyes shut and his body unmoving. Even through the fogged up glass, the shape of his hair is unmistakable, dark and messy and sticking up in every way imaginable.

Daichi presses his palm to the window and exhales, breathing out the dust that had settled in his lungs ever since the day they declared Kuroo was lost.

"Found you."

\---

Kuroo opens his eyes and the world is glaring. Something makes a noise right by his ear and all around him and it makes Kuroo want to scream. He opens his mouth and utters a completely inaudible sound, his breath rattling dry in his throat and unable to leave his mouth. His eyes roll widely, looking all around the too bright room for something, anything familiar to hold on to.

There! Movement flickers at the edge of his vision and Kuroo looks at it desperately.

A girl with flyaway brown hair looks back at him, her mouth open in a silent 'o' as she meets his eyes. Kuroo doesn't know who she is. The girl glances at something beeping over his head then back down at him, hesitating.

"I'll be right back, Kuroo," she says quickly, her words chasing each other out of her mouth. "You're fine, you're safe. I just need to let him know."

 _Who?_ Kuroo wants to ask but she is already turning away from him, leaving his vision for someplace he can't follow.

A distance away, he hears her shout, "Daichi! Daichi! He's awake!"

Kuroo relaxes, a wave of relief washing over him. Daichi's here. Everything is going to be fine.

 _Daichi._ Kuroo's body tenses up again. That isn't right. He shouldn't be here. The mission—to deep space. What had happened?

Fragments of memories pierce into him as he painstakingly recollects them, piecing together the broken puzzle of what had just happened. There had been an accident, or, or an attack, something great and unyielding making contact with the ship from the outside. They had travelled this far out into deep space where no one has ever gone before and their ship had been ripped apart in a blink of an eye by something Kuroo doesn't even know.

They had lost half their crew instantly, the other half only surviving a little longer because someone had the sense of mind to lock down what had remained of the ship, creating a temporary airlock for them to scramble to the cryopods. Kuroo remembers grabbing crew members, people who had been family to him after all they been through together, shoving them one after another into the cryopods.

A terrible groan had echoed all around them, the sound of the walls straining from the damage it had taken. Kuroo had not dared to look behind him, counting his crew members as they flew past him. ( _There had been so few of them._ ) His first priority was to get everyone out and the second was to get to the communications deck, if it was still there, to see if there was any way he could get a distress signal out to any nearby ships on the fringes of deep space. He knew that he and his crew had signed away their lives when they had agreed to go on this mission and cut themselves off from all communication with ground control but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't _try_.

Then the Nekoma had screamed, the awful, grating cry of a ship tearing itself apart, and Kuroo had known that was the end of it. Only a fraction of his crew had passed him and gotten into cryopods of their own and Kuroo reaches behind him for the next shirt, seizing a fistful of cloth and—

—then he had woken up here.

Footsteps come pounding in his direction, beating down harshly on the floor and chasing away the wisps of memory Kuroo had managed to grasp. He blinks up at the ceiling, his vision overbright and blurry, his nerves still buzzing with adrenaline that had been there with him in a crumbling ship with his crew.

A face thrusts itself into his vision, familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, worn and wan, creased with lines of age he doesn't remember. There is a hand on his arm, its grip so tight it hurts, but his senses are slow to pick up on its presence when he is still muddling between wakefulness and deep sleep. But unlike the girl from before, Kuroo knows who this is. He always will.

"Daichi," Kuroo sobs soundlessly, his throat still unable to produce a word. He wants to tell him about his crew, how he lost them, how it happened, how it is all his stupid fault. He wants to tell him how much he missed him up in deep space and how he kept all the pictures he ever took of Daichi in a tablet which he lost when everything went wrong.

He can't say any of this out loud but Daichi hears him anyway, falling over Kuroo as his knees give way under him. He grips Kuroo's arm tight, so tight that Kuroo knows the indents of his fingers will show on his skin long after Daichi lets go, but Kuroo doesn't want him to let go. Daichi's head is a comforting weight on Kuroo's chest, a warm wetness spreading across the front of his shirt as Daichi buries his face there, his entire body shaking as he starts to cry.

\---

"He's, um, asleep," the girl tells Kuroo, reaching out with gentle fingers to turn Daichi's face away from Kuroo's chest. The entire front of Kuroo's shirt is soaked, trapped under the weight of Daichi's head after he had cried himself out. Kuroo doesn't want Daichi to sound like that ever again.

"Oh," Kuroo mouths, blinking rapidly at the ceiling. His face is wet and his vision swims. He can't move any part of him too well but he tries, and fails, to bring his hand up to Daichi's head.

The girl wraps her arms around Daichi and heaves him up onto the bed with Kuroo. For such a small thing, she lifts Daichi without much effort, rearranging him comfortably against Kuroo's side and making sure that he doesn't fall off the bed. Then she takes the hand that Kuroo had been trying to lift and places it on Daichi's head, letting him curl his fingers into his hair.

"Thank you," Kuroo mouths at her.

She nods, her eyes brimming with sympathy. She reaches for Kuroo's bedside and comes away with a cup of water, putting a straw to his lips. Kuroo drinks greedily, wincing as the first sip of water hits his parched throat, but he doesn't stop until he can feel the inside of his mouth again. He tries making a noise in his throat, going through a range of sounds until he sounds like himself again, only much hoarser.

"Thank you," he repeats out loud and she smiles at him.

"I'll leave you two alone for now," she says, putting the glass of water aside and propping her hands on her hips. "I know that you want to talk to Daichi about so many things but we should probably let him sleep. I don't think he's had a proper night's rest since he came here."

"Where is here?"

"Aos. We're a trading post on the edge of deep space. Daichi came here three years ago in search of you."

"Three years?" Kuroo repeats.

"I heard it's been seven years since you went missing," she says, unfolding a thin blanket and wrapping it around Daichi's sleeping form. "Daichi's been looking for you ever since then."

Despite the water he just drank, Kuroo's mouth feels paper dry. "Is the rest of Karasuno here with him? Suga, Asahi, Shimizu? All of them?"

"Karasuno?" She blinks, the name unfamiliar to her. "No, Daichi arrived alone."

"He's been looking for me, alone? For seven years?" Kuroo asks hollowly.

She laughs nervously. "It's not as bad as it sounds..." Her face falls and she bites her lip. "I'm sorry."

The girl is right because it isn't bad—it is Kuroo's worst nightmare come true.

Sometimes, late at night in their apartment with Daichi asleep beside him, Kuroo thinks about what would happen if he ever died or went missing on a mission. If he died, Daichi would be heartbroken but he would still be able to move on for Karasuno's sake if not his own. It is going missing that Kuroo fears the most, with no way of confirming whether he was dead or alive, because as long as there was still the faintest sliver of hope that he was alive, he knows that Daichi wouldn't give up on him. He would have kept looking for Kuroo in a universe that was far too vast for one person to search alone.

"Stop thinking," Daichi mumbles against Kuroo's chest. "You would have done the exact same thing for me."

"That's different," Kuroo tells him, tight-lipped.

"No, it's not. I know you as well as you know me." Daichi sits up beside Kuroo. He has changed since the last time Kuroo saw him before leaving on his mission, seven years weighing down on him heavily, putting lines in his face and patches of white in his hair that shouldn't be there yet. Daichi catches Kuroo scrutinising him and his warm, brown eyes turn disapproving. He strokes Kuroo's cheek, his touch achingly familiar. "Stop that."

Daichi turns to the girl hovering by them anxiously. "Thanks for carrying me onto the bed, Yui."

Yui smiles sheepishly. "I thought you were asleep."

"I did black out there for a moment," Daichi admits.

"Well, oh, try not to do that again," Yui says with a laugh. "I'll leave you two alone now. For real this time."

As Yui shuts the door behind her, Daichi lies back down beside Kuroo and takes his hand in his, brushing his thumb over Kuroo's knuckles absently. "So?" he asks. "What do you want to know?"

 _Everything,_ Kuroo wants to say but he settles for, "How long were you awake for?"

"I woke up right around the time you started talking about Karasuno."

Kuroo grimaces. "Did you really leave them to come looking for me?"

"They're in good hands. They have each other."

"And who did you have? Yui?"

"She's been a great help but she doesn't leave Aos. The change in atmosphere makes her sick."

"Please tell me you had someone with you this whole time. Anyone."

Daichi falls silent, his hand stilling on Kuroo's. Then he says, "I can't. It wouldn't have been fair to them."

"You should have given up on me," Kuroo says dully.

"If I'd given up on you, I would never have found you," Daichi counters.

"What if I was dead?"

Daichi's grip on him tightens. "You aren't."

 _You wouldn't have known,_ Kuroo wants to say. _I could have been dead._

But he doesn't. Instead, he changes the subject, his thoughts too jumbled up for him to argue with Daichi now. "Did you find anyone else?"

"Only Shibayama," Daichi says and he sounds so tired. "I sent him back to Mars. The last I heard was that he was recuperating well."

Only one other person had been found. That is a lot to take in, considering the number of people that had been aboard the Nekoma.

Kuroo closes his eyes. "I think I want to sleep again."

"Okay," Daichi says. He shows no sign of leaving or letting go of Kuroo, which only saves Kuroo from having to ask. "Get some rest, Kuroo."

\---

Kuroo wants to go back to Mars and Daichi brings him there in a spacecraft that looks like it has seen better days. Daichi takes the only seat in the cockpit while Kuroo huddles down in the back with a blanket wrapped around him. Normal movement and speech had come back to him gradually during his days on Aos as his body recovered from its cryogenic sleep but he still feels cold sometimes when he least expects it. There is something about being frozen for seven years that stays with the system, lodging deep into the centre of his chest and wracking his body with uncontrollable shivers from time to time.

The inside of the spacecraft smells like artificial pine, a scent he vaguely remembers from Earth, but the blanket he has is all Daichi. Kuroo hasn't seen Daichi in almost a year and he misses him intensely. He can't imagine how Daichi must feel, seven years apart from Kuroo with no idea of whether he was alive or not...

Kuroo shakes himself out of his thoughts forcibly. It is a trap. If he lets himself carry on down that train of thought, he won't ever stop spiralling down into the endless well of guilt.

Instead, he thinks about the road ahead. They have to catch twelve wormhole jumps to get to Mars, which would take them anytime between a week to two months depending on the schedule. Yui had given them provisions for the journey, which now sit in the back of their cargo hold with Kuroo. It was her home that Kuroo had been brought to when Daichi had recovered the cryopod with Kuroo in it. From what he heard from her, Daichi had been on the move until he found out that the cryopods from Nekoma had probably been scattered in the section of deep space closest to Aos. There was a chance that the cryopods had been caught up in an asteroid belt and Daichi had taken a gamble on that chance, searching each stretch of it meticulously.

His search had paid off, but anyone could tell what Daichi had been preparing for when he had started out on this mission all by himself. Yui had known when she was telling Kuroo all of this and Daichi had known when he had cut himself off from Karasuno. Kuroo can't imagine any of Daichi's crew letting him go into this alone if they knew that Daichi was going to look for Kuroo.

"Daichi," Kuroo says abruptly.

"What is it?" Daichi replies, keeping his eyes forward, fixed on the darkness outside the spacecraft.

Kuroo hadn't meant to say his name out loud and he fumbles for something to follow it up with. "Do you want to switch?"

"I'm fine. Get some sleep, Kuroo," Daichi says. From his place in the back, Kuroo can see Daichi's reflection in the windshield and he is smiling even though he thinks Kuroo can't see him. Something about that makes Kuroo feel warm from the centre of his chest to the tips of his toes.

"I've slept for seven years. I'm good." Kuroo picks himself off the floor and moves to the cockpit, his blanket trailing behind him. There is not enough space for him between Daichi's seat and the wall so he settles down behind him, leaning against the back of Daichi's seat.

Daichi reaches down to pat Kuroo's hair, his fingers carding through his messy spikes before he pulls away to concentrate. "What do you want to do when we get back to Mars?"

Kuroo rewraps himself in his blanket, pulling it up to his chin as he says, "I want to go home. I bet our apartment has gotten really dusty without either of us around to look after it."

"All our food has probably gone bad," Daichi agrees. "Even the most instant of them."

"That would suck. But we could always go shopping at the market," Kuroo suggests, perking up at the thought of walking through the morning market with Daichi's hand in his. "Then I'll need to report back once we get our dust and food problem sorted out. They've probably been searching for us, haven't they? You—or I, since you're a law-breaking felon—could give them the coordinates of where you found me so they'll know where to start looking for the others."

The mood in the spacecraft shifts and Kuroo glances up at Daichi. From his position on the floor, he can see the subtle changes in Daichi's countenance. His jaw is tense, his eyebrows furrowed, his hands tightening on the controls before he catches Kuroo looking at him and loosens his grip.

Daichi hesitates, which is never a good sign, then says, "Kuroo... They're not looking for Nekoma. They called off the search."

Kuroo sits up straight, his blanket slipping off his shoulders. "What? Why?"

"They closed off the section of deep space they sent Nekoma into. Reports say that it's too dangerous for anyone else to enter after what happened to Nekoma."

"So they aren't even going to _try_ to look for the rest of us?" Kuroo demands, the warmth leeching out of his hands and feet.

"There's a ban on going anywhere near that section. The deep space programs have turned their attention to the other sections, which means years of probing before they send anyone else out there. Even Aos isn't exactly legal but they're closing an eye to them because they need a trading post out there."

"Wait," Kuroo asks as the thought strikes him, "then how did you get in?"

Daichi smiles crookedly. "Well, I am a law-breaking felon."

Kuroo frowns. "You shouldn't have. It's dangerous out there. There are—"

_Nothing had registered on their sensors before their ship was hit. The first impact had dented their ship instantly, bending all that reinforced steel and adamantine alloy like it was nothing. The second impact had broken their ship in half just as Kuroo was bellowing orders to get their ship away—_

"—things out there." Kuroo slumps back against Daichi's seat, his chest freezing cold.

He never knew what had destroyed his ship, whether it was an alien entity, a hostile ship, some strange force of space, _anything_. Maybe it was their fault for stepping foot into unknown territory in the name of exploration, but he wants his crew back. He wants to know that all of them made it out somehow like him, like Shibayama, that there are enough Daichis out there in the universe to rescue each and every one of them.

Kuroo was lucky. Not everyone can find their way home like he did, by meaning so much to someone that they would give up everything to go looking for him in the stars with nothing but a beat-up spacecraft and a hope that he would be somewhere out there, still breathing and well. He never wanted Daichi to do that for him. He wouldn't wish that fate on anyone, let alone the person he loves the most.

Kuroo scuffs his feet together under the blanket, trying rub heat into them. He never expected to be alive, just as he hadn't expected to be almost dead. Everything had just happened so fast and it constantly feels like yesterday that he was on the Nekoma with Yaku and Kai and everyone else.

A hand touches his shoulder and Kuroo jolts, his eyes wide as he jerks his chin up. Daichi looks back at him, worry creasing his worn face as he asks, "Kuroo?"

Kuroo takes a deep breath and nods jerkily. "I'm fine."

Daichi doesn't look convinced but he can't leave his seat until their battered spacecraft reaches the nearest terminal. He squeezes Kuroo's shoulder and tugs the blanket up over him, tucking it around Kuroo one-handedly before he turns around. Kuroo aches to touch him but he huddles down in the blanket instead, burying his nose into the heavy folds that smell like Daichi.

\---

There isn't as much dust in their apartment as either of them had expected, which they are both thankful for. Given their hectic lives, they had been prepared to stay away from their apartment for extended periods of time and it had become a habit for them to pack away everything that dust could settle on when they leave on Monday mornings. A first look at their apartment after an extremely extended period of time leaves Kuroo breathing a sigh of relief when he realises that it is still recognisable, if not slightly dusty.

"Home sweet home," Kuroo says as they enter their apartment and the sensors bring everything humming back to life.

Daichi is quiet as he puts the last of Yui's provisions on the kitchen floor, running his hand over the dining table and leaving a clean score through its dusty surface. With his back to Kuroo, he looks older and more worn out than ever, the solid line of his shoulders slumped and silver threads showing in his hair. He hadn't once let Kuroo take over for him all the way back to Mars and Kuroo had to force him to sleep between jumps by latching onto him, wrestling him onto the floor of their spacecraft, and throwing his blanket over the both of them.

Daichi only sleeps when Kuroo does that. Otherwise, he spends his waking hours constantly in motion, planning their route back to Mars, checking their provisions, running maintenance on the spacecraft, doing a hundred and one other things that don't involve staying still. It is like he doesn't remember how to rest and it gives Kuroo a glimpse into how the past seven years must have been for Daichi.

Kuroo pads up behind him and rests his hands on Daichi's shoulders, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck. Daichi turns to look at him with a wan smile and Kuroo drops his hands to Daichi's waist, wrapping his arms around him in a hug. There is much less of Daichi to hug around the middle now and Kuroo holds him close, his heart aching when he feels Daichi's ribcage stark against his arms.

"We should get this place cleaned up," Daichi tells Kuroo, placing a hand over his. "Then stock up on food and—"

"No, no, no," Kuroo scolds him gently, resting his chin on his shoulder. "This place is clean enough for now and we still have the supplies Yui gave us. How about we sit down for a while and just bask in the fact that we're both back home?"

"We'll be breathing in seven years' worth of dust while we sit and contemplate our dust-covered apartment."

"We've been lying on the floor of an ancient spacecraft for the past few weeks. I'm sure we can manage." Kuroo tightens his arms around Daichi and walks him to the sofa in the living room. "Come on, let's rest for a while."

When Kuroo drops onto the sofa with Daichi, a small cloud of dust puffs up from under his backside, breaking up in the air and making him cough. Seated on his lap, Daichi looks over his shoulder pointedly and Kuroo pats his thigh reassuringly as he hacks the last of the dust out of his windpipe.

Then Daichi shifts and Kuroo loosens his hold on him, letting Daichi turn in his arms until he straddles Kuroo's lap, bringing them face-to-face. In this position, Daichi has the height advantage and he looks down at Kuroo carefully, his brown eyes scrutinising every inch of Kuroo's face like he still can't believe that Kuroo is here. He cups Kuroo's face with a hand, his thumb brushing against his cheekbone, and Kuroo holds Daichi's hand there, leaning into his touch.

"I missed you," Kuroo murmurs, his lips brushing against Daichi's palm.

Daichi's eyes soften, the brown in them turning bright and molten as he says, "That's my line."

\---

"Stop looking at pictures of your boyfriend already," Yaku says as he climbs off the ladder and kicks the side of Kuroo's bed, making both their bunks shudder.

Kuroo most certainly does not stop looking at pictures of Daichi because it is his break time and he can do whatever he wants. Sure, their next shift starts in less than ten minutes but he needs to charge up before he leaves for it and every second counts. It has been months since he was last on Mars and he hasn't been able to contact ground control since they entered deep space, let alone establish any communication with Daichi. He misses him so much.

"I can't help it," Kuroo muses, swiping to the next picture. "I know he's cute but he's _really_ cute, isn't he?"

Yaku snorts. "You'll get to see him once we're done here. We've cleared nearly all of this section and gotten some pretty interesting findings so it's almost time for us to head back—which means that you need to get back to work, captain."

Kuroo stretches on his bed, straightening out the kinks in his spine. He pulls himself up into a sitting position, letting his legs dangle over the edge of his bed for a moment before he heaves himself off his bed. The tablet with Daichi's photos, his journal entries, and other memories of home goes under his pillow until he comes back for it again.

As he stands, the floor slips out from under his feet and Kuroo goes hurtling into the ceiling. The lights in the room wink out, coming back a second later as the backup generator starts up, but the gravity stays off and Kuroo stays flat on the ceiling, pain flaring up in his back from the impact. Across the room, he sees Yaku sprawled against the ceiling the same way he is and their eyes meet for split second before they both move into action. Yaku kicks himself away from the ceiling and heads for the door with Kuroo following closely behind.

"Kai," Kuroo says into the communicator on his wrist as he pulls himself through the open door and into the corridor. "What happened?"

 _"We were hit,"_ Kai's voice comes through the communicator, his normally calm voice strained with worry. _"But the problem is that we don't know what we hit, or what hit us."_

Kuroo glances at Yaku, who had pulled up the schematics of their ship on his communicator, projecting a hologram of it and rotating it until they see an area marked out in pulsating red. Yaku scans the damage report quickly and says, "The walls on the port side took a beating but there's no breakage. But if we take another hit like that in the same place, the walls won't hold."

Kuroo grimaces. "Kai, evacuate the damaged area and its surrounding areas. Prepare to lockdown sections of the ship just in case. I'm on my way to the deck. Send me everything you've picked up on the sensors."

 _"That's the problem,"_ Kai says. _"The sensors picked up nothing and there are no visuals on anything near our ship. That hit came out of nowhere."_

"A long range attack?" Yaku suggests, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Whatever it is, we can't sit here and take another hit like that. Kai, we need to get out of here now. Set our coordinates to—"

The wall comes rushing towards Kuroo and he barely manages to get his arms up in time before he smashes into it. He hears a sickening crack to his side, where Yaku had been thrown to. Gravity chooses this very moment to kick in and Kuroo falls to the floor, staring up at the ceiling as the lights begin to fail one by one.

Around them, the ship screams.

Kuroo gasps, picking himself off the floor, only to find that his limbs are tangled up in cloth and there is a warm weight latching onto his chest. It is dark all around him but in the faint glow coming from outside the window, Kuroo doesn't see his ship but his bedroom in his apartment on Mars.

"What's wrong?" Daichi asks, instantly awake and alert, his hand finding Kuroo's in the dark. The weight on Kuroo's chest is gone and he can feel Daichi looking at him, a vague shape in the dark as he braces himself over Kuroo.

 _Nothing,_ Kuroo tries to say but he can't, not when his throat has gone completely dry. He swallows, wetting his mouth before he tries again. "Nothing. It was just a... a dream."

He knows that Daichi is frowning even if he can't see his face but Kuroo can't bring himself to spin an elaborate lie or assure Daichi that he is fine when he doesn't know if he is fine. His heart is beating too fast in his chest and the tips of his fingers are ice, his blood running cold in his veins and freezing his body still.

Rustling comes from Daichi and then a weight rests on Kuroo's chest again, keeping him grounded. Kuroo reaches up and buries his hand in Daichi's hair, stroking his head with trembling fingers. Daichi is warm and Kuroo needs to hold on to that, the here and the now, instead of straying back to that time on his ship.

"Can you go back to sleep?" Daichi asks, his voice a low hum against Kuroo's chest.

"Yes. I think so," Kuroo says. Daichi doesn't respond and Kuroo bites his lip and tells the truth, "I don't know."

"Do you want to go back to sleep?"

"I don't know."

"The morning market should be open by now," Daichi says, tracing the lines of Kuroo's palm over and over again, keeping him grounded. "Do you want to go look for breakfast?"

Kuroo lets out a breath of trapped air he didn't know he was holding in and nods rapidly. "Yeah, that sounds good. We could work on restocking our apartment."

Daichi shifts, reaching for their bedside. "I'm going to switch on the lights now."

The lights come on, washing their bedroom in a dim orange glow. Kuroo looks around the room, his eyes flitting from corner to corner, searching for any sign of his ship, his ship that was ruined in deep space. But the shadowy, dust-filled corners of his bedroom look nothing like the sleek walls of his ship and the bed at his back is soft and giving, unlike the cold, hard floors of his ship.

Daichi is up, his body angled over Kuroo as he adjusts the lights. Kuroo's hand is still in his and Kuroo grips it a bit tighter. Daichi brushes the sweat-soaked hair away from Kuroo's forehead with his free hand and gazes into his eyes.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Daichi asks quietly.

Kuroo wants to, so badly, but just like the first time he woke up on Aos after seven years of cryogenic sleep, he can't seem to find his voice. He doesn't know what happened when there are gaps in his memories he can't seem to recall. Maybe the missing pieces will come back to him in dreams like the one he just had—and if they do, he doesn't know if he wants them back after all.

Daichi squeezes his hand. "Take your time. You don't have to tell me now but I'll be here when you want to."

Kuroo squeezes back, panic still fluttering through his body like the aftershocks of an earthquake. He clamps down on it the best he can, breathing deeply to get his heartbeat back to normal. Then he gets up.

\---

In the afternoon, they clean their apartment, chasing out dust bunnies, wiping down furniture and appliances, and restocking their pantry. Just as Kuroo is about to call it a day, he catches Daichi eyeing the curtains, taking in their greying corners and dust-packed folds. Kuroo grabs Daichi from behind before he can start taking the curtains down and throws him onto the bed. He makes sure that Daichi has rolled onto his back and is looking at Kuroo before he drops onto him, pinning him securely to the bed. Kuroo had learnt the hard way that Daichi could and would reflexively throw him into the wall if he was hit with a surprise attack, even if logically the only person in the vicinity was Kuroo.

"Daichi, I'm tired," Kuroo whines, nuzzling his face against Daichi's chest.

"Mm, then get some sleep." Daichi pats Kuroo's head, his fingers tangling in his hair.

"But I stink."

Daichi sniffs his head and wrinkles his nose. "Yeah, you do."

"Hey," Kuroo prods him in the middle of his sweat-soaked shirt, "you aren't so fresh-smelling yourself."

"If it's bothering you, you can get off me," Daichi informs him.

"In a while," Kuroo says, laying his cheek against Daichi's chest. His hands dig in between their bed and Daichi's back, wiggling them apart until he can get his arms under Daichi to squeeze him in a hug.

In the weeks between waking up on Aos and now, they haven't been apart from each other for a single moment, which is strange and wonderful because Kuroo has never had Daichi to himself for such a long period of time. They were always coming and going from the first time Kuroo met Daichi on Earth up until the day Kuroo left for his deep space mission, the only constant being this apartment on Mars. For the first time since they moved in, their pantry is stocked with more fresh food than instant food, a luxury they couldn't afford when they were constantly on the move. Both of them will be here in this apartment not just on Sundays, but on Mondays, Tuesdays, and all the other days that follow.

Kuroo still isn't used to seeing Daichi every single waking moment of the day and knowing that he isn't going anywhere soon. Kuroo knows people who live together like this and see each other day after day in a place they call home, but he never thought the day would come when he and Daichi would achieve this kind of mundane domesticity. The future had always seemed so uncertain for either of them that Kuroo hadn't let himself dream of it. This must be what a peaceful life is like, the kind of everlasting happiness people set out to find.

"Daichi, what do you want to do after this?" Kuroo asks, his voice echoing back at him from some faraway place.

Daichi hums thoughtfully, combing his fingers through Kuroo's hair. "It's getting late so maybe we should start making dinner. Or do you want to go back to the market to eat? I saw you eyeing that new store serving freshwater food just now."

"No, I mean, now that we've come back to Mars, is there anywhere else you want to go?" Kuroo hesitates. He doesn't want to say it but he does. "Do you want to go back to Karasuno?"

Daichi's hands still in Kuroo's hair and Kuroo feels Daichi's chest rise beneath him as he takes a deep breath. "Maybe. Eventually. But not now."

"They probably miss you."

Daichi doesn't respond and Kuroo doesn't dare to look at him, keeping his cheek pressed to Daichi's chest and listening to the slow thudding of his heart. What would he do if Daichi said he was going to leave Kuroo now? Seven years ago that would have been the usual routine between them but thinking about it now makes Kuroo uneasy, like something bad would happen if they were apart again.

His heartbeat races in his chest and pounds in his ears—and Kuroo realises that isn't his heartbeat but Daichi's, sounding in him where Kuroo is pressed up against his chest. Daichi is just as scared of leaving as Kuroo is and he had been the one to live through that long and uncertain period of time when Kuroo had been simultaneously dead and alive as long as he was not found. This precious time in their apartment is for him as much as it is for Kuroo.

"Let's stay in tonight," Kuroo suggests, changing the subject quickly and answering the question Daichi had thrown out previously. "I'll cook."

"Are you sure?" Daichi asks doubtfully and Kuroo feels him exhale quietly under him, a muted sigh of relief. "The last time I let you cook, it was a disaster."

"I told you I was distracted." Kuroo pokes him in the chest. "You are a very distracting man. They should lock you up for your devastatingly good looks instead of all the intergalactic crimes you've probably committed."

"Alright, if you say so," Daichi says, giving in with a chuckle. "I'll keep out of your way this time so you do your thing, Chef Kuroo."

Needless to say, Kuroo burns the eggs, the vegetables end up a wilted mess, and Daichi bans Kuroo from touching their precious meat before he can get started on it. Kuroo blames Daichi for distracting him even though Daichi had done nothing but sit at their dining table and watch Kuroo with an amused look on his face the whole time.

They end up going to that new store serving freshwater food after all. Dinner is delicious and neither of them look up at the stars on their way back home, holding on to each other's hand tightly.

\---

He is drifting alone in deep space, stars and planets and asteroids and meteors passing him by in the endless void of space. Metal and glass walls keep him enclosed, pressing tight around him and separating him from the sight. It is silent in here apart from the quiet hum of human technology and it is so very cold, freezing him to the bone. The glass reflects him back to him, showing a distortion of a man who had just been ejected from the crumbling remains of a ship he was once captain of.

No one is going to find him all the way out here.

He is going to die here.

He can't breathe.

Kuroo opens his eyes to his bedroom on Mars and his heart swells with the weight of memory and guilt, heavy in his chest. His face is wet and the inside of his cheeks bitten through, a dull metal taste filling his mouth. There is no air in his lungs, no warmth in his blood, nothing.

Fingers encircle his hand, tightening around him in a bone-crushing grip, and the jolt of pain makes Kuroo gasp. The air comes rushing back into his lungs, chasing away the darkness eating away at the edges of his vision. The world around him is lit by the warm glow of their bedside light. In its dim light, he sees Daichi looking at him, holding Kuroo's hand in a death grip and sending shocks of pain through his fingers. Daichi looks like he hasn't slept at all, the shadows too dark on his face and the light reflecting off his eyes too brightly.

"Kuroo." Daichi shakes him, smoothing a trembling hand over his cheek. "Kuroo."

"I'm up," Kuroo rasps.

Relief washes over Daichi's face and Daichi waits for a moment, assessing Kuroo swiftly. "Let's go out for a while," he finally says, tugging on Kuroo's hand and pulling him up. "Come on, Kuroo. Get up."

After the first night, this has become a routine between them. The dreams come at random, some real, some not, all with fragmented memories embedded in them. The cold comes with them, a chill that eats at Kuroo from the inside and doesn't go away even as Daichi plies him thick coats unsuited for the weather at this time of the year. Daichi wraps Kuroo decisively with the blanket from the spacecraft as a finishing touch and Kuroo waddles out of their apartment, more padding than man, gripping Daichi's hand tight as they head out into the market.

At this time of the day, the world is just beginning to wake up and Daichi haggles for buns with a sleepy-looking vendor using a series of clicks and whistles in their native language. Kuroo follows Daichi around as he obtains a stream of hot chocolate for the thermos he had brought out and receives a gift of spicy fruit from a vendor who looks at the bundled up Kuroo with pity. Kuroo is sweating by the time they reach the end of the marketplace but he is still shivering and Daichi doesn't let go of him as they trek up to the rocky cliffs overlooking the sand dunes.

The sand on Mars is reddish-brown, the first rays of the sun bringing it to life with its warm touch. In the middle of the day, Mars is a vibrant red under a blue sky, but it is barely daybreak now so the colour of the sand is a dull sleepy brown, sweeping up in spirals when the wind picks up occasionally. Kuroo strips off his outermost coat and then the next one as the heat finally gets to him, hanging onto his blanket and rewrapping it around himself when Daichi tries to take it from him. It still smells like Daichi and even though Daichi is always by his side now in their newfound domestic life, it still comforts Kuroo to have it wrapped around his shoulders.

They end up sitting on the discarded coats that Daichi spreads out under them, eating a quiet breakfast of market fare and watching the sun rise over the dunes. The outside air revives Kuroo, bringing him out of the terror, the fear, the whole swamp of emotions that had him trapped in the cold place of metal and glass. He bites into a meat bun doggedly, forcing food down his throat, and the hefty chunk burns a trail of heat down his throat. He coughs and Daichi nudges him, passing over the thermos of hot chocolate.

Daichi looks better out here too, under the sun and the skies with the wind ruffling his cropped hair. He had cleaned, organised, and restocked their apartment over the past few days, launching a campaign against the dust and dirt that had piled up in their apartment over seven years. After that, he had stopped, simply because there was nothing left to do, and Kuroo had steered him away from staring blankly at their walls and coaxed him into their bed, helping him to relax or sleep or simply talk. Daichi has been doing much better since the first time Kuroo saw him again on Aos and Kuroo is so, so glad.

He wants to get better too.

Kuroo cups the thermos in his hands, warming himself up. Daichi has finished eating and he looks out across the dunes with a serene look on his face, his chest rising and falling gently in time with his breathing. He is beautiful, he always is and always has been, and Kuroo loves him so much.

"Daichi," Kuroo says and Daichi turns to him, ever-attentive ever since he found him again.

"What is it?"

Kuroo hesitates. "The dreams I've been having..." He stops, unsure of how to continue.

Daichi waits for him to start again patiently, without pressing him for details.

Kuroo bites his lip. "Did you ever find out what happened to Nekoma?"

"No. Kenma didn't manage to retrieve any logs or records from the ship. He only captured a distress signal with no apparent source, which had probably originated from Nekoma. That was how I found you and Shibayama."

So someone had managed to send that distress signal out. Kuroo wonders if it had been Kai who had been on the deck when the ship had fallen to pieces, too far away from the cryopods to get out in time. Kuroo should have been there with him. He should have been there instead of him.

The padded cloth of his coat rips in Kuroo's hand and Kuroo forces himself to unclench his fist, patting down the bits of fluff that had escaped. The sun is warm against his face and Daichi watches him, close enough to touch. The ground is sandy under his feet when he shifts them, gritty against his palm when he places it against the hot earth. Kuroo is here and now because of the efforts of those who had brought him home out of love.

"Kuroo?" Daichi says gently, putting his hand over Kuroo's. "What happened?"

Kuroo breathes in.

\---

The buzzing of the doorbell startles them because, technically, nobody knows that they live here, let alone that they are back. Kuroo's mind races a mile a minute and he looks at Daichi, his face pale.

"Oh shit, they're finally here to arrest you," Kuroo says.

"For my good looks or my intergalactic crimes?" Daichi asks him sarcastically but he is serious as he pulls out a stungun from under the sofa.

They have only been in such a situation once, back in their previous apartment when the peacekeepers had received an anonymous tip that the leader of Karasuno had a Sunday home here on Mars. It had been magnificent, with Daichi flying out of their window in a burst of broken glass, wrapped in nothing but the blankets off their bed. That had left Kuroo with the bedsheets, which were significantly thinner, but Kuroo had more problems on his mind than being arrested for public indecency then. That was the first and only time Kuroo had been on the Karasuno ship, awkwardly shaking hands with a bunch of kids not much younger than him while he tried to preserve his modesty.

This apartment has a similar escape route, planned out by Daichi and him when they had first moved in, only that this time they have the advantage of being dressed and the disadvantage of not having Karasuno come pick them up from the rendevous spot. Kuroo creeps up to the door and sweeps a hand over the door panel, letting him see their visitors through the door.

A man with silver hair and eyes stands right outside their door, glaring through it like he can see Kuroo standing before him. Kuroo knows him and so does Daichi, who comes barrelling over to Kuroo's side.

Daichi looks elated but a touch fearful as he meets Kuroo's gaze and says, "He's going to kill me but let him in."

"To be fair, I think he's going to kill me right after he kills you so that you don't get lonely in the afterlife." Kuroo swipes open their door and steps back to admit Suga.

Not even years of Daichi's and Kuroo's finely honed reflexes can stop Suga from slamming a fist right into Daichi's solar plexus and Kuroo catches the stungun that falls out of Daichi's hands, tossing it onto the sofa so that Suga can't get his hands on it. Suga's eyes are blazing, brimming over with tears as Daichi clutches his stomach and coughs.

Suga turns his burning gaze onto Kuroo as he comes to hold Daichi up. A plethora of emotions crosses Suga's face—amazement, fear, anger, relief—and Kuroo hugs Daichi's shoulder tight, ready for Suga to come at him next. Then Suga's eyes soften as he looks at the both of them.

"You found Kuroo," Suga says to Daichi wonderingly, looking Kuroo over from head to toe like he can't believe that he is here.

"I did," Daichi wheezes out and Kuroo squeezes his arm reassuringly. "How did you know we were back?"

"I have eyes watching your apartment. I knew it the moment you came back here but it took a while for Karasuno to make a detour back to Mars."

"How is everyone?" Daichi asks Suga eagerly, desperate for news of his family.

"Fine. Seven years older but some of them aren't any wiser," Suga tells him, glancing between Daichi and Kuroo. "They all miss you."

Daichi falls silent, his smile growing sad.

Suga thumps Daichi on the shoulder. "You didn't have to knock me out then, you know. I told you we would help you find Kuroo. The kids were inconsolable when they found out that you had gone and left them behind."

"Even Tsukishima?" Daichi asks, half-joking.

"You know he cares," Suga says.

"You know why I had to leave," Daichi tells him. "I had my mind made up then and I don't regret it. You have each other."

"And who did you have?" Suga retorts. "Did you spend all those years looking for Kuroo by yourself because you didn't want to _inconvenience_ anyone? Because you didn't know if Kuroo was—" Suga shuts his mouth so fast that his teeth click together.

"Suga," Daichi says, more resigned than angry.

Suga wipes his face with a hand. Seven years has changed him too, leaving his hair longer, the lines in his face deeper, and with the same strained expression that Daichi had been wearing when Kuroo had first woken up. While Daichi had been searching for Kuroo, Karasuno had probably been trying to locate Daichi while going about with their business as usual. It must have killed Suga and everyone else aboard Karasuno not to be able to drop everything and go looking for Daichi the same way Daichi did for Kuroo. Suga looks furious, frustrated, and tired, weighed down by a grief that had been lodged in him for seven years.

"I'm sorry," Kuroo says.

"It's not your fault," Daichi and Suga respond automatically, their voices overlapping.

Daichi grips Kuroo's arm tight and buries his face in his shoulder. "Don't say you're sorry for being alive and here. Don't you dare apologise for this."

"What happened to Nekoma was an accident," Suga says firmly, looking Kuroo square in the eye. "You, of all people, would know that, unless you can tell me otherwise. Sure, I'm angry that Daichi went off to look for you on his own and I'm frustrated at a universe that set forth the motions that made him do that, but I'm glad that you're back. I'm glad that you're both back."

Kuroo nods mutely, unable to find the words to say anything back to that.

"So now that you're both back," Suga asks, his tone conversational, "what are you going to do?"

Kuroo glances at Daichi, watching the uncertainty cloud his face. He knows that Daichi wants to go back to Karasuno. Kuroo has had him around for longer than he could ever hope for and Daichi had brought him back to their apartment on Mars where they could meet whenever their schedules matched up again. Kuroo doesn't know if he could go back to the force and take up flying again when he was presumed missing or killed in action, but there were other things on Mars he could do while waiting for Daichi to come back to him.

"You should return to Karasuno," Kuroo tells Daichi, taking note of the stubborn set of Daichi's jaw, which means that this is going to devolve into an argument quickly.

"We need our captain back," Suga backs Kuroo up, then proceeds to roll right over him. "But I can see the thoughts rattling around in your head, Kuroo. You're going to overthink yourself to death if Daichi isn't there."

"He's right," Daichi says quickly, eyeing Kuroo meaningfully.

"You're one to talk, Daichi," Suga says dryly. "You're both just as bad as each other. So that's why I'm here, as the senior authority on Karasuno and the most sensible person in this apartment, to ask you something important, Kuroo."

"What is it?" Kuroo asks, swallowing hard as Suga looks at him, steel glinting in his silver eyes.

"Kuroo, do you want to join Karasuno?"

\---

Nekoma isn't going to hold.

Kuroo reaches behind him and seizes a fistful of cloth, dragging the next crew member forward into the open cryopod. Their only way out of here and for a chance of survival in deep space were the cryopods and Kuroo prays that someone out there, by fate or chance or a miracle, would find them and bring them all home safe.

Hands grab his wrist and Kuroo looks back into fierce amber eyes and then he is falling backwards, a smooth wall of steel and glass sealing him into an enclosed space. The hum of machinery starts up around him and a chill caresses his skin, penetrating deep into muscle and bone to reach his very core.

Through the narrow window set in the door before him, Kuroo sees Yaku breathing hard and bleeding sluggishly from his head, his eyes feverish but calm, unnaturally calm, as he looks at Kuroo. Yaku's mouth moves and Kuroo can't hear him but he reads the words off his lips as clear as day.

 _"Live on, you asshole,"_ Yaku had said and Kuroo has not a doubt in the world that Yaku would come back to kick him in the ass if he did anything else but that.

So Kuroo had.

\---

Kuroo grips Daichi's hand tight, his palms clammy as he steps onto the ship. His body seizes up with an instinctive fear as he looks around at the ship's steel walls and a crew of curious faces, the memories washing over him like a wave of ice.

"Kuroo?" Daichi asks quietly, putting on a smile for his crew members as they come running up to him, chirping brightly like a bunch of baby chicks as they surround him. But his grip on Kuroo's hand is just as tight and clammy and Kuroo knows that Daichi would tear himself away from his crew if Kuroo asks to step outside for so much as a breath of fresh air.

Kuroo can't let Daichi do that again so he digs his heels in deep, sweat pouring down his face as he forces himself to look each Karasuno member in the eye and see them for who they are and not who they remind him of.

"Hey, you were the naked guy who was with Daichi that time!" pipes up an orange-haired boy, peering up at Kuroo's face.

That is a good start. A fantastic first impression. Daichi is chuckling openly beside him and Kuroo takes his strength from that, soaking in the sheer joy Daichi radiates from being back here in Karasuno.

"The _almost_ naked guy," Kuroo corrects primly and he smiles, which makes the orange-haired boy jump back warily. Daichi has always said that his smiles came too close to his smirks and it often had that effect on people. "I'm Kuroo Tetsurou and I'll be joining your crew from today onwards."

"Are you and Daichi going out?" the orange-haired boy asks, his curiosity winning over his wariness.

"No, we're going to be staying in the ship," Kuroo answers smoothly.

He probably deserves the swift stomp on the foot Daichi delivers for that bad response and the sharp pain that shoots through his foot chases off the last of the nerves Kuroo had about doing this. He grins shamelessly at Daichi and feels a lot more like himself, Kuroo Tetsurou, ready to take on the great unknown.

"Yes, we're lovers," Daichi tells the boy and, by extension, the entire ship listening in on their conversation. "We knew each other even before Karasuno was established."

Kuroo can pick out the ones who had known about them and those who hadn't by the looks on their faces. Only some of them, the older ones like Suga, had known the real reason behind Daichi's seven-year absence but all of them would know about it in due time. Daichi had not wanted to keep it a secret forever and now seems like the right time to let them know since Kuroo is going to be a permanent addition to their crew.

The crew disperses, ready to rush off to their next destination, and Daichi walks Kuroo through the ship, refamiliarising himself with it and showing Kuroo around at the same time. The Karasuno ship is much smaller than the sleek, government-funded Nekoma ship, its interior and exterior walls battered and dented and scorched, but Kuroo can tell that it is well-loved.

Daichi remembers every inch of his ship, walking Kuroo through passages and open doorways and waving when they pass one of his crew mates, his family. Towards the end of the ship, right before where the sleeping areas are according to Daichi, Daichi tugs on Kuroo's hand and leads him to a shadowy alcove tucked away in a corner.

"How are you holding up?" Daichi asks, squeezing Kuroo's hand and scrutinising his face.

"It might take me a while to get used to it but I think I can do this," Kuroo tells him honestly, squeezing Daichi's hand back. He feels fine now, excited even, and he lets it show on his face with a smile. "I actually miss being up in space, travelling to distant planets and exploring the great unknown. Daichi, I want to fly again."

"You will," Daichi says firmly. "And if you ever get as good as me I might even consider letting you flying the Karasuno for a while. Maybe for like ten minutes."

"Your crew should start preparing to call me captain then," Kuroo declares loftily.

"As if. You can be the captain's partner instead. Something like a co-captain," Daichi says magnanimously.

"Why, Daichi," Kuroo asks with a smirk, "are you proposing to me? And it's only my first day on this ship."

Daichi's eyes flit between the space behind Kuroo and then back to Kuroo, his eyes warm, serious, and steady as he says, "I don't have a ring with me right now so you can call it a pre-proposal. A promise."

A shiver runs through Kuroo. Those are binding words, a promise that runs deeper than just what Daichi is saying aloud. It is in the silence that hangs between them, the words unspoken but unmistakably there, winding a loop of thread around their hearts and knotting it so tightly that Kuroo doesn't know where it starts and ends. It is in the seven years and the unfathomable distance that Daichi had crossed to get to him, to bring him home safe. It is in the way Daichi looks at him here and now, irrevocably changed by his journey but still the same Daichi who Kuroo had met all those years ago and fallen in love with.

Kuroo is lucky. It isn't every day in every lifetime that you get to meet someone who loves you so much that they would brave the universe for you. Call it fate, call it luck, call it whatever you want, but Kuroo had been a recipient of that, and it had brought Daichi to him. It had brought him home.

"I'm holding you to that," Kuroo says, meeting Daichi's steady gaze, warmth soaking him from head to toe as Daichi smiles. "You have to make me an honest man, Daichi."

"On this ship? You wish." Daichi chuckles, his eyes crinkling as he tugs Kuroo in close and loops his arms around Kuroo's waist, keeping him safe within the circle of his arms. "But for you, I'll try."

**Author's Note:**

> [ _find me in the stars_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Y7ZLV44s2U)
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> The quote in the summary is from [spacetravelbot @ twitter](https://twitter.com/spacetravelbot/status/821149366438268928).
> 
> Find me here: [tumblr](http://kythen.tumblr.com) / [twitter](http://twitter.com/catcrowcalls)


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